three projects

I left the planning of Maya's party until the last minute but I think it turned out really sweet. After 12 years of cutting cake and dipping ice cream I decided it was too hectic and came up with another plan. We made 90 cake bites in strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla and served them with tea, coffee and warm cider. The bites looked so pretty on my MIL's layered stand. I didn't get a picture of the table but did get some pics of the baking and chocolate dipping process.

We also made a "happy birthday" banner from burlap and twine. The kids stenciled the letters and I sewed the burlap triangles to the twine with a zigzag stitch. I cut 36 triangles so I have extras for other banners. I'm planning to make "give thanks" next.

I found the idea for these cute initial bags on my friend's blog and had the supplies to make and use as library bags. So we made them at the party. The key is a dry brush and stencil adhesive (or any spray adhesive will work) to keep the edges of the doily secure while stenciling.

a little conviction with our morning coffee: one lump or two?

I will be the first to admit I have been conflicted over what to do with Halloween. Steve and I were stirred by these "what if" questions this morning which I read aloud during our early morning coffee/tea ritual . . .

Sent into the Harvest: Halloween on Mission - Desiring God

Be sure to also read this . . .

Not of . . . But sent into

battling the unbelief of impatience

Impatience has been a longstanding problem of mine. I'm not talking about "the kids are getting on my nerves" type of impatience (although I battle that too). I'm talking about the "I want it now" impatience. What I want might be good. What I desire might be God's desire for my life. I might be feeling impatient for His plan to unfold. I might be tempted to think God is slow.

God is opening my eyes that patience is the fruit of faith and, you got it, impatience the fruit of unbelief. Ouch.

For a girl that has called herself "impatient and prone to rash decisions" this is a real battle. And a sin that needs confessed and my direct attention applied to God's word, His commands and His promises.

I listened to this John Piper sermon this morning, while laying in my bed sick and frustrated at my disrupted plans.

I won't bore you with all the pathetic ways I was feeling sorry for myself. It's just a cold. And for some reason I am deluded into thinking that the good in the world pivots on the timely completion of my to-do list. I think, in my nearsightedness, that putting these items off means putting off other things in our life and somehow missing God's plan. Somehow I surmise that God is looking at me, wringing His hands and thinking, "well great, now what do I do." Somewhere down the line I think it all has to do with me.

Guess what? God has His own agenda and His own timing and His own way. It's not about me.

He is infinitly good.

He is infinitly wise.

He is infinitly powerful.

He has a better way and when I look at His way as an inturrption or a hinderence to my own, I am looking through the lenses of unbelief.

He is teaching me.

I am a slow learner.

He is a patient teacher.

Listen here: Battling the Unbelief of Impatience

harvesting

Charlie spent the day watching all the machines harvest the beans. It takes a couple of days to do the fields around our house with semis and other wonders of the farming world coming and going. Charlie's favorite spot to watch is either the swing, the roof pig house or the top of his daddy's pick up truck.

this week....

. . . I considered throwing all the socks away and buying new ones.

. . . I learned that cats can have more than two litters in one summer.

. . . I found a trick to teach C a proper pencil grip.

. . . I watched M1 and M2 start a study of the attributes of God together.

. . . I said "see you latter" to a precious family friend.

. . . I made hand-bound nature journals with the kids.

. . . I unknowingly contributed to the neglect and subsequent death of a captured katydid.

. . . I started an at-home Bible study with some friends using the good morning girls website.

. . . I cleaned off my dining room table and set out a cute center piece.

. . . I agreed to a campout in the back yard on a night when it's supposed to be a low of 48°.

when all else fails, make a list

I am a writer. I'd like to believe I might write something of importance someday that generations to come will call a classic, but realistically I'm not that good. But still I write. And my favorite genre is the uncelebrated list with the unimpressively short shelf life (written on paper with my favorite fine point sharpie and destined for the trash can). Not impressive, but keeps me motivated, focused, and sane. My list for today includes goals in the following catagories: spiritual, physical, family and household. I also have many other lists that correspond to the areas of responsibility in my life. Some of them include a general to do list for the week; an ongoing grocery list; a running list of items to be completed for a homestudy; a list of homeschool goals and accomplishments for each child; a "to be read" book list; and, my most favorite list, a perpetual list of advice and encouragement for my daughters on keeping house, raising children, and being a godly wife taken from lessons God has taught me from scripture. This one I write in the form of letters that I call "letters of practical advice for my daughters" (clever, huh?). It will never be completed but I hope to give a stack of them to my girls someday.

On Disjointed Thoughts

So many things stir my heart I don't know where to begin.

I'm usually reluctant to hastily put together a half-baked blog post. Too many ill-considered things, better left unsaid, fill the Internet and our cell phones. And sadly, I have authored many of those things. But I'm going to try to keep some updates more regularly, which means some of them may be clumsy and poorly worded. Time is limited and most of my writing time is spent multitasking (ie, running kids back and forth to the bathroom at the library), so the usual consideration I might give to grammar, style and spelling will suffer. I'm also going to be pretty transparent and many of my thoughts are rough, my emotions raw and tender to the touch, as I've not had the usual time I like to take to think things through. But I'm willing to be transparent in the effort to elicit your prayers and give glory to God for all that He is doing.

"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth" (Colossians 3:1-2).

My mom and I walked into a chemo room for the first time last Monday and entered into a new way of living, a new season of life. Many of you know my mom was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer little over a month ago. Suddenly everything shrinks in perspective and all that is before me is my sovereign God, eternity, and the eternal souls of man. Not much else matters much. We are told by the doctors that there is no cure. How did this happen? The doctor actually shrugged his shoulders and said, We don't know. How will I have the strength to walk this road beside my mother? With my family and church walking beside me, and my sovereign God going before me.

"The Lord God is my strength, And He has made my feet like hinds' feet, And makes me walk on my high places" (Habakkuk 3:19).

Now let me tell you how important it is to meditate on the word of God, hiding it in your heart, setting it always before you. The scripture that God has put before me (Colossians from my daily devotional Table Talk, Habakkuk from a Bible study I try to attend, bits and pieces from sermons months old and my daily reading) is a firm foundation beneath my feet, the corner stones and pillars that hold me up and protect my fragile frame. If you want to hear the voice of God, if you want to know what He is saying to you, fill your mind and heart with His word. He speaks to us today from this book. Don't miss it.

This is the scripture that comforted me last Wednesday night during the heavy wind and after Mom had a very difficult day. The wind was so strong that I could feel the house and my bed shake. The weight of the day so heavy that my soul shook. Praise God who controls the storm!

"Those who go down to the sea in ships, Who do business on great waters; They have seen the works of the LORD, And His wonders in the deep. For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind, Which lifted up the waves of the sea. They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths; Their soul melted away in their misery. They reeled and staggered like a drunken man, And were at their wits' end. Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, And He brought them out of their distresses.

He caused the storm to be still,

So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness, And for His wonders to the sons of men! Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people, And praise Him at the seat of the elders" (Psalm 107:23-32).

Children are waiting. This is a link to my friends blog. The Lord has been stirring our heart for the needs of orphan children for over a year and we have been praying about what the Lord would have for our family. I know others are being stirred as well. We've prayed about adopting and fostering. We've looked at overseas adoption. We've considered  the cost of private adoption. But recently the Lord is pricking our heart for the babies in our county and the ones that need temporary care while their mothers are in prison. I don't know what the Lord is doing, but He is moving and He is always at work. I don't know what any of this will amount to for us personally, if anything. But would you join me in praying for those that are in prison? Would you pray for their babies? Would you pray that His word would have free reign and not be bound by prison bars? Would you ask that God raise up for Himself an army of people that worships Him right here in Union County?

I don't want to work to fill up my barn to overflowing so I can "protect" myself against impending storms. I don't want to retire to collect sea shells on the beach and read all the books I'll never get to while my kids are at home. I want to leave this life with nothing, to squander myself and all I have for the cause of Christ. To pour all that He blesses me with out onto my children, my family, my neighbor, the widow, the orphan, those in prison, the hungry, the lost. Those are the treasures that we store up in heaven. They are rare jewels being set with precious metal in our future crowns. A crown that we can lay at Jesus' feet when we meet Him face to face.

To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question

As I look back over the last 6 years of blogging I am stunned by a few things:

1. How much my kids have grown.
2. How amazing my husband is.
3. How fast time passes.
4. I need to take more pictures.

and

5. I let Charlie drink out of the dog bowl.

My blog has recorded big events (like the birth of a baby, the start of homeschooling, and learning a new way of life in the country) and everything in between (glasses, braces, great big pups, farm animals, and old trucks).

I've considered giving it up over the last 6 months, but I'm not really ready to let it go. So, although the posts are few and far between, here's to 6 more years!

Of Assorted Events

I can hardly believe we are knocking on the door of Autumn! My last post was about how I enjoyed our first spring in the country. How much more I am looking forward to the fall--my favorite time of year. I know spring is traditionally the time of new beginnings as God awakens His earth anew. But for me Fall has always seemed like the time for new things. One of those was marrying my husband 18 years ago on September 12. Everyone always says this so now it's a cliche, but I can hardly believe it's been 18 years. He is my best friend, my protector, my cheerleader, my teacher, my leader, my provider, and the one who holds my hand through it all. Sometimes I laugh and shake my head and ask God why He gave me to this man, we are so opposite. But I know it's because He has a plan and His plans are good. I didn't know it could be possible, but I love him more today than I did 18 years ago.

We've done so much this summer, here are some pics to fill you in on the highlights:
We took the carpet off the steps to uncover the original wood! Added numbers (you knew I would) and some pumpkins from the garden. Also took the carpet off the dining room (below) and painted the upper cabinets (hmmm, hope our landlord isn't reading this), but I won't tell you what color until I'm finished and can post some pics. This is authentic primitive country and I'm thrilled to be a part of it!
We added 110 more chicks. We will butcher the bulk of them this fall and keep some to brood next spring. The original hens will be butchered after these begin laying sometime in January/February. I had been praying since we moved that when God was ready for us to have a second car, He would give us a 4x4 truck that would be able to handle the snow. Well, He answered my prayer! It's a 1977 Chevy (with a 67 engine). Isn't it something? Thank you to those who provided and the gifted mechanic that helps us keep it running! And yes, that's a number six spray painted on the driver's door.FAQ. This September marks our first year in this house. Many of you have asked what our plans our now. We are not looking to buy anytime soon. Our current situation is an answer to prayer in so many ways, we feel we are exactly where God wants us. We don't know why, but it is not our desire to buy right now. We are now on a month to month lease and the owners have indicated that we can stay as long as we desire. So, until the Lord calls us elsewhere, we'll be here for the foreseeable future.

God is Good!

Looks like we have an offer. Just waiting for all the banks and lenders to do their thing and, Lord willing, we'll be moving next month. We found a farm house to rent in Milford Center, only 10 minutes from Marysville (about 15 minutes from here) that will allow the dogs. Talk about a "handful of purpose"? God has worked the details in only the way He can. Pictures and particulars to follow!

House on the Market and a desperate plea for help!

We put the house on the market last week and we have 4 showing requests this week (plus one coming back a second time). So we're the popular new kid on the block, so to speak. I'll be curious to see what comes of these showings. We were expecting to be on the market for several months, even into next spring, so if it goes this quick we'll have to scramble a bit to get things together to move. And then also figure out where we are going. I'm learning to trust God on a new level. I don't know what He has planned next for us, but we're going to follow the bidding on our hearts to become debt free and see where He leads us from there. Our prayer is to a farm in the area.

I have mixed feelings about moving. It's hard to believe we will ever be as happy somewhere else as we have been here! But I keep my focus on our goals which are two-fold: to become debt free and to find a farm house (or maybe an old church or barn) on some land. In the meantime, we hope to find a farmhouse in the area to rent while we're working on goal No. 1. and I figure that will give us some time to test drive being out in the country. So, here is the desperate plea for help: if you know of anything for rent in the country, please let us know.

Anyway, I have a clean house this week. I had to take pictures because just like an old penny, it really does shine up quite nicely! The kid's rooms:

Makenna's room.

Maddie and Maya's room.

Charlie's room.

A thought from my past . . . and the present

Charlie "helping" in the kitchen.

My best friend growing up has these amazing blue eyes. They are like looking into intricately cut diamonds. Everywhere we went EVERYONE commented on them. And I stood aside with my muddy brown eyes listening. I'm really not bitter. And I really wasn't then either. There is no debating it. Her eyes are gorgeous. But a brown-eyed girl can't help feeling a little mediocre next to them.

Somehow, God gave me four beautiful babies and three of them have these incredible blue eyes. Makenna's are deep and tinted green. Maddie's are clear, crystal blue. Charlie's are smokey blue. I find so much joy in looking into them. I love seeing how different they look according to the color they wear and how they change from light to dark with the weather--and their mood.

And little Maya has my eyes. I never thought brown could be so wonderful.

Sustain me with a willing spirit.

And they remembered that God was their rock, And the Most High God their Redeemer. But they deceived Him with their mouth and lied to Him with their tongue. For their heart was not steadfast toward Him, Nor were they faithful in His covenant. But He, being compassionate, forgave their iniquity and did not destroy them; And often He restrained His anger And did not arouse all His wrath. Thus He remembered that they were but flesh, A wind that passes and does not return. Psalm 78:35-39

For those of you who don't know, I hurt my foot 4 1/2 weeks ago working in the garage in flip flops (against the advise of my husband--he really is my protector and I should have listened to him). I tore the tissues on the pad of my foot and I can't put any weight on that foot. That first night I went to the urgent care and they took x-rays. There was nothing broken so I tried the "walk it off" method of healing which only made things worse. There is some nerve damage, maybe some tendinitis, possibly broke the pockets of fluid around the joints of my toes. This is week five of being injured and week three on crutches and it has been harder than the others. The doc put me in a soft cast and a shoe and made me pinky promise not to put any weight on it for a week. It's no secret that I've been cheating the last couple of weeks, just to keep the house running, but this week I can't cheat. And I've been faithful in hopes of real healing.

For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. Isaiah 64:6

I can't say that we've handled this with complete grace and joy. We've had some really rough days. Sadly, those days under stress are the ones that reveal the real me. And I can't say I like me very much those days. We live our comfortable lives in relative ease and we shine, thinking that WE are good. We spend our days dealing with shallow trials and trivial problems, and we pat ourselves on the back, puffed up and proud, thinking that it was by our own power that We made it through the day. Oh, that is me . . . I'm so quick to be proud in my accomplishments. But in reality, on my own and without Him, I am but flesh, a wind that passes and does not return and my good deeds are nothing better than filthy rags.

Throughout this all I've been working on memorizing Psalm 51. This is one of David's psalms a year after he sinned with Bathsheba and murdered her husband. I remind myself that when He brings me to a place of brokenness and to the end of myself, it is grace. I am reminded that He withholds His full wrath from me and with gentleness He corrects me. He does the work of salvation and regeneration in me; He is the author of all that is good in me; He is the potter that reshapes me; He is the one that sustains me. Oh dear One, renew a right spirit within me. Sustain me with a willing spirit. Let the bones which you have broken rejoice. (Ps. 51)

"If true repentance is one going down a highway and then by God's grace experiencing that change in attitude that leads to a change in behavior, that leads to one going the other way down the highway, if that is what repentance is, and I believe it is, then brokenness is the off ramp. Brokenness is the place where we get off, brokenness is the place where God stops us, where He halts our progress, where He causes us to see the end to which we will come if we continue to go down that road. Brokenness is the place to which we come when we recognize that all that we are, and all that we have, and all that we do in and of ourselves is sorely and miserably insufficient." Voddie Baucham, from a sermon on brokenness and Psalm 51. Listen here: Brokenness

Still Keeping a Quiet Heart (or at least trying to)

These last few weeks have been wonderful and hard for so many reasons.

First a confession (is it rude to use blogging as a cathartic?): We ripped the last of the band aid off with the TV. You know we don't have cable and therefore do not watch any TV. However, we've hung on to some very select movies and I've been allowing Charlie to watch a movie in the afternoon for quiet time. I knew this, but now I know this: the TV is a babysitter when I'm catching up with house work or assisting the girls with their studies. (Ouch. That hurt.) Now, do you know what? This is a hard time of the day for Charlie. He's not napping anymore but is still tired, grumpy, and therefore doesn't handle things well and makes bad choices. He gets into trouble because quite frankly I have not trained him properly. He does not know what to do with himself in the afternoon without the mind-numbing, hypnotic effects of the TV and we are reaping what I have sown.

Next, I injured my foot working in the garage wearing flip flops two weeks ago. Duh. In the first few hours it became clear to everyone (including myself--you know that "did I accomplish anything at all today" feeling?) just what mom does around here. I cannot put any weight on the pad of my foot so I have limped through the last two weeks trying to keep up with the kids, the laundry, the house, etc. I've been to the urgent care and the family doctor with no relief what so ever. Yesterday I made an appointment with a podiatrist and was told to keep my foot elevated above my heart, stay off my feet, apply ice, etc. The girls have really stepped up. They are preparing meals for each other, keeping things picked up, playing with Charlie, and in general being my feet and legs. They are amazing. As is my husband. By his example, he sets the standard in our home (and sets it high) for hard work and sacrifice. I don't know what I'd do without any of them. Now the cool thing is what I did yesterday (cool for me, but not everyone else who has to take up my slack). In the absence of TV I had to figure out what to do with myself when I can't do anything. So I read the book of Acts and the book of Job, I memorized nearly all of Psalm 51, I prayed often, I listened to a Paul Washer sermon (Regneration v. The Idolatry of Decisional "Evangelism"), I folded two loads of laundry, and tatted two snowflakes. I will admit that at one point in the afternoon I felt really bored and restless and was wishing for some Love Boat reruns or Matlock or something (hey, the standards were low, OK? I would have even settled for some old Bob Ross episodes). It's really hard for a gal like me, who usually ends the day by trying to remember when she actually sat down, to take the time I need to heal, to allow others to take care of me (and not feel too guilty about it), to be quiet and still.

Remember that Annie Keary quote from Elizabeth Elliot's book Keeping a Quiet Heart?

I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over ones' work. Then one can feel that perhaps one's true work--one's work for God--consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day--the part one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it. Annie Keary, 1825-1879

Regarding Garage Sales . . .

I ask only one question: WHY?!

Lesson Learned

Good Will does not accept counter offers on their merchandise.

Heavy (and admittedly disjointed) thoughts from a restless night . . .

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Romans 12:9-16

I went to a ladies brunch on Saturday and was so blessed and convicted about the scripture on which Kat spoke. Let me tell you, I needed to hear it. I have failed time and again. Failed with my neighbors. Failed my brothers and sisters in Christ. Failed my family. I have not been fervent in spirit; I have withheld brotherly love and harbored bitterness in my heart. I have been so overcome by the busyness of life that my diligence is lagging. I so want the love of Christ to be the light that pours though the cracks in this broken vessel. I cling to the Potter who can remake me--a broken vessel--as it pleases Him (Jeremiah 18:1-6).

But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary . . . " Luke 10:41-42

Do you know that "one thing"?

Kate the Cow

This is raw, fresh milk from Kate the cow. My new friend brought me a sample, ice cold! If you look closely you can see the line separating the cream on the top from the skim milk below. The skim milk part has a slightly blue tint. I skimmed most of the cream off, but left a little to shake into the milk before drinking. I'm told you need a bit of the fat in the cream to help digest the good stuff from the milk--and it tastes so good! I never want to go back to store bought milk and I just love the idea of taking the miles out of our food. But I figured and re-figured the cost per gallon, considering there'd be the cream for butter and then buttermilk for baking, but dear husband says we just can't swing it right now. Do you know we drink 5-6 gallons of milk a week?

What is up with your blog?

Yeah, yeah. I hear ya.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. I have so much to tell all of you . . . This quick update is for my sister, but she won't see it cause she's out seeing the world the way it was meant to be seen--by convertible. So go sis! I'm praying for your safe trip and I'll have something new posted by the time you get home. Promise!

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

Update: A reliable source tells me it's not a convertible after all.

Keep a Quiet Heart

I picked up Keep a Quiet Heart by Elizabeth Elliot this morning, and the first page hit me like a ton of bricks; so naturally I came straight to you all. As mothers, as homeschoolers, as anyone with work about them that busies their days, we can so easily become burdened by the interruptions that distract, frustrate, and beset our plans. But let us not forget that we are not the center of it all. "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21). Rejoice in it. Thank God for it. Embrace it. And keep a quiet heart about it.

Do Not Rush. Trust. And Keep a Quiet Heart.

I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to help one against getting selfish over ones' work. Then one can feel that perhaps one's true work--one's work for God--consists in doing some trifling haphazard thing that has been thrown into one's day. It is not a waste of time, as one is tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day--the part one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the planned work; trust that the time to finish it will be given sometime, and keep a quiet heart about it.

Annie Keary, 1825-1879