waiting for someday

Do you ever find yourself longing for "someday"?

As a young(er) mom of four babies under the age of six, I often looked at the piles of toys and books and dishes and laundry and thought, "when... then... if..." At one point in my life I was searching and waiting. Waiting for something big to happen. For God to write out words in the clouds revealing to me what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, for some grand calling. "When these kids grow up, then..." I wondered what my "spiritual gifts" were. I wondered what my ministry was. I looked at all the other moms and how they served over there and did this and worked on that and felt like I was doing nothing worth while.

"When these kids grow up, then..."

Paul and Silas didn't seem to have that attitude. They were wrongfully arrested, falsely accused, beaten with metal rods tied in a bundle, and thrown into the deepest part of the prison where their legs were spread as far as they could go and their ankles put in stocks. And there they waited. For what? A trial? More beatings? Death?

I don't know what these men prayed for at midnight. If we know Paul, we can guess he was praying that God's word would not be bound, that the door to be wide open for gospel! They certainly were singing hymns of praise. And you know what? The prisoners were listening.

And when God moved, did they take off running? No, they stayed right were they were. They were instrumental in saving not only the physical life of the jailer but also his spiritual life. They spoke the word of the Lord to him! They told his family about Jesus. They baptized him.

I can get so caught up in my circumstances. Like I'm in a holding cell, waiting for my "real ministry" to begin. I overlook the ministry of my "right here and now." I get myself over-committed because I push aside my babies, looking over the tops of their heads, trying to catch a glimpse through the crowd of what I perceive to be a better ministry  "out there."

What would if have been like if Paul and Silas thought the same of the other prisoners? What if they saved their songs and prayers for when they were released?

God has placed me in a country where I am free to teach my babies at home. Free, without fear of reprisal, to teach them about how He made everything, and how He made them, about our sin and His grace, about the absolutes found in His word. God has placed in my home four babies that are sinners and need to hear His story of redemption everyday--24/7! I get to mentor them and disciple them every single moment. It's not about "when... then... if." It's about here. It's about now. It's about this man and these kids and the people at the grocery and the doctor's office and the gas station and sitting in the church pew next to me, and wherever else God sends us.

Look at your current season in life as an opportunity. Work now to create a vision for the ministry of the home that God has entrusted to YOU.

Start with your husband. What needs of his are you setting aside until "when... then... if..."? Are you committed to praying for him? Do you have a spirit of "singing hymns of praise" while you do your chores, make dinner, care for the kids, fold his socks? What does he desire that you can take the initiative to do without him asking? What's the one thing he dreads doing that you could do for him? How can you make his mornings run smoothly and his evenings more peaceful?

Then look at your kiddos. Are you looking over them to other ministries outside the home. Are you gazing longingly at "someday"? Do you pray and sing hymns in their presence? Do you speak the word of God to them? Do you take them with you in ministry opportunities? Do you save your best for someone else, some other time, a different place?

God has given me a grand calling. What bigger words of confirmation of my ministry do I need than a positive pregnancy test? Seriously, words in the clouds would be fun. But isn't it enough that God, the creator of the universe, saw fit to put these kids in my care? Truth is, all that He has given, my "right here and now," is enough. I don't need to wait on a better calling!

one secret to peace for large (or not-so-large) families

((So, those of you with large families can stop giggling cause I just called our modest family of six "large" but if you don't already know this trick, you'll thank me--after the laughter subsides.))

I wish I could say I thought of this one myself. But I did not. This is one of the other tips I learned from my perusal of the Thomas Jefferson Education books by Oliver DeMille. It's called "the kid of the day." (You can read about the "You, not them" principle here.)

You know all those little tiffs and whines when it's time to run an errand and everyone wants to go with you. How do you choose? Or, who gets to pick what to listen to in the car, or who gets to sit in the front seat, or who gets to help mom make dinner, or who gets the first piece of cake, or who gets to hold the flashlight for dad, or who gets to go pick up the pizza and eat a free ice cream cone in the lobby while waiting for the order (seriously, this really happens, folks). Or... or... or... it never ends.

Well, unless you have a "kid of the day." 

We established a rotation and I write the child's name on the calendar so it is clearly established and there is no confusion. Who's the kid of the day? Well it must be because the calendar says so. It takes mom and dad choosing one child over the other out of the equation. So where there is a choice to be made the fussing and hurt feelings are gone for good. "Who's the kid of the day?" is the question of the moment. They know that it is not their turn today, but it will be some other day and who knows what cool thing will come up on their day. They are content to go on their way and be patient for their turn.

This also ensures that mom or dad is getting one-on-one time with each child in some type of reliable rotation. They love this because they get mom/dad's ear exclusively to themselves to say whatever they need to say. And we can give our undivided attention to that child.

We also take this opportunity to pray specifically for that child during our family Bible study at breakfast, thanking God for the blessing that they are, praying for their future spouse, and begging the heart of God to draw them to Himself.

In the past, I have had the "kid of the day" be my helper when it's time to clean up after dinner. It becomes a good training opportunity as I can focus teaching that one child the skills for the job. This is done in a fun and light-hearted way. And because of this, my older girls can clean up a kitchen single-handedly when needed. What a blessing that can be!

When it comes to running errands, the kid of the day could lose the privilege for any number of reasons: their chores aren't done, they didn't finish their studies, or they didn't get dressed that morning (yes, this happens too). In our house the privilege does not trickle down to the next kid--we found to do so can be the source of hurt feelings and resentment.

So have fun chuckling if you really have a big family and you're thinking, "Well, duh." Or have fun with your "kid of the day" and marvel at what a blessing they are!

painting a room and chicken katsu

When I had four kids under six I used to ask parents of older children if it gets easier when they get older--longing for a shred of hope that I wouldn't always feel so tired and frazzled.

I can't say yet if I agree with the answers they gave. Mostly they didn't offer me much hope and they'd say "it doesn't get easier, it's just different." I think it must be in the parenting handbook under "what to say when . . ." I almost always got that answer.

I reserve my judgement until my kids are grown. But for now I just have to say, they amaze me!

I decided this week that our current bedroom arrangement is no longer working and I need to reclaim the spare room (which was well on its way to getting us on Hoarders). So I've been taking the afternoons to paint.

My ten-year-old did all the prep work (removed nails, filled in nail holes, took down the ceiling fan blades, vacuumed and wiped down the wood work) and laid out the drop cloths being careful to cover all the edges. Amazing.

And my twelve-year-old has been making us dinner each night. Tonight she made chicken katsu with tonkatsu sauce while I played beat the clock with the sunset (no overhead light in the room makes painting hard). Amazing. Both the kid and the chicken.

I love it that we can accomplish so much more together than I ever could on my own!

nine

Today my baby girl turns nine. Nine. My feelings waver between

EXCITEMENT . . . .

Oh, I can't wait to see what kind of women she will be and what plans God has for her. Her personality mixes a sweet and tender heart with a quirky sense of humor and sense of style. She is adorable and adored.

---and---

PANIC . . . .

Will she be ready?  Will her math be good enough? Will I have taught her how to run a household without falling apart when trials arise? Will she manage her money well? Will she marry someone who will love her and protect her? Will she be a hard worker?

But more importantly, will she walk with Jesus and have a heart that worships Him?

Will she have a tender heart for the lost?

Will she pour out her gifts and talents and blessings for the cause of Christ like Mary poured out her expensive perfume on Jesus' feet?

In Which I Marvel at Kenna's Cleverness

In Which Mom Downloads the Pictures from Her Camera.

Things are moving along. We are unpacked and feeling settled. I have so many pictures and some videos to share. But first, some unexpected pictures I found on my camera, compliments of Maddie Rose. Enjoy.

My girls and their new glasses.

Last weekend we had the privilege of going to the Midwest Homeschool Conference with some dear friends. We took Maya and Charlie and they did awesome! Maya, as usual, had to run everywhere. You know, we've been shut up indoors all winter and I was tickled to see her run. It's hysterical. I thought of this Friends episode from my TV watching days. Maya runs just like this! Seriously.

Sleepy Boy

Last night after Bible study, while I was cleaning up the kitchen, I heard Charlie go downstairs and shut the basement door. Once I finished up, Steve and I went looking for him. This is where we found him. He fell asleep coloring his pictures from Sunday school. Play hard, sleep hard! I love spring and long sunny days!

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. --Proverbs 22:6

If you are like me, you have been leaning on this little verse as a promise and a hope for your children: no matter how wayward they stray as teens or young adults, eventually they'll come back to the values and morals we taught when they were young. Maybe I could take this a bit further and say, "no matter how badly I failed to do what I should have done, and how far they have wondered from the values that I proclaimed with my mouth but did not myself practice, no matter how distracted I was by prosperity and comfort, no matter how I neglected my obligations and failed to discipline and disciple my children, they'll eventually come back."

Maybe that's too harsh?

But let us examine ourselves. Lets take another look at the verse and the original Hebrew language. Let us take a deeper look at what we are doing--and what we are not doing--to train and disciple our children. Perhaps we should take this verse as a warning meant to sober us, not comfort. The commentary below is from Withhold Not Correction by Bruce A. Ray.

In Proverbs 22:6 we read, "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it." This verse is usually taken as a promise, and it is almost always abused by persons seeking a false comfort. Some understand it to mean this: If the child is trained properly (that is, biblically) in his youth, he will not depart from that training when he grows older. Now generally speaking, this statement is true. Whether the Lord regenerates him or not, the morality which has been instilled in him as a child will carry him through his adult years. But it is not the teaching of Proverbs 22:6.

Others understand the verse to mean: If a child is trained properly in his youth, but then goes astray, he will return to that earlier training when he is older. This is frequently the understanding of those who desire to have a false sense of comfort. . . .

In it's proper context Proverbs 22:6 is not a promise so much as it is a warning to Christian parents. In the Hebrew text of Proverbs 22:6, the phrase "in the way he should go" is entirely lacking. Rather the Hebrew says, "Train up a child in his way and when he is old he will not depart from it." Train up a child in his way or after his manner according to his ways. Allow a child to have self-expression, allow him to pick and choose what he will and will not do, and as that habit is formed in his youth he will not change when he is older. If he does not learn discipline from you as a child he will never learn it as an adult. That is a warning. Or it is a promise, if you like, but it is a promise in the negative sense. If you let your children run over you, if you withhold the rod, if you fail to discipline them, if you fail to diligently and meticulously instruct them in the little things as well as the big, if you let your children decide what they will and what they will not eat, what they will and what they will not wear, what they will and what they will not do and when they will and will not do it, look into the future and you will see those same children unbridled, undisciplined, and unable to bring their bodies into submission to the commands of God. That is a stern warning. Jay Adams comments on this verse in his book Competent to Counsel and says, "The verse stands not as a promise but as a warning to parents that if they allow a child to train himself after his own wishes (permissively) they should not expect him to want to change these patterns when he matures. Children are born sinners and when allowed to follow their own wishes they will naturally develop sinful habit responses. The basic thought is that such habit patterns become deep-seated when they have been ingrained in the child from the earliest days." The point is that he cannot get out of the rut which you have established for him. "Train up a child in his way and when he is old he will not depart from it." To allow the child to go his own way, to allow him to take things naturally as they come, is to assure the destruction of his soul. The direction of a child, whose natural way leads to hell, demands correction.

Letters to Mrs. and Santa Claus and other works

My kids know about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy. Weird, this knowledge hasn't relieved us of the obligation to play along. So we do: waking up in the middle of the night to put trinkets under pillows and filling cheesy basket with plastic grass that gets all over the house and the dogs try to eat. Ah well, they're only young for such a short time.

They also have this burning desire to tell others about their knowledge (my apologies again to neighbor G and daughter S!). They've been told that they aren't to tell. Maddie, being very clever, figured out a way to tell without really telling. Maddie asks the leading question, "Do you believe in Santa." And then it deteriorates from there.

Maya dictated this note to Makenna and they left it on our pillow last night:

Mrs. Claus and Santa Claus are the best parents I ever had. I love them so much. I love them.

Surely a little flattery this close to Christmas never hurt.

Maddie wrote this phonetic poem. See if you can decipher it. I'm quite skilled at figuring out her "spelling" and can read it without skipping a beat which I try so hard to do because I want to encourage this as much as possible. This is such hard work for her that I fear if I falter while reading it she'll become discouraged. Occasionally, if the mood is right, I'll pick one "rule" that we've been working on to remind her of (for example, "Don't forget the "e" on here to make it look right."). This is such a huge deal that she's even attempting and hearing the sounds in these words.

So Christmas is coming sunoo.
I am so itgsitidid.
And so that is so.
Ho Ho.
Christmas is coming sunoo and a Christmas prde.
I am so itgsiidid that Christmas is hrera.

Photos

I've always admired those who have a way with a camera. Those that have an eye for good composition. A natural ability to make the extraordinary shine through in an otherwise ordinary shot just by using camera angle and lighting to their advantage. I just don't have that gift. I also have a difficult subject matter to capture on film. They are goofy, giggly and squirrely. All I can do is get them together in one spot and hope for a photographic miracle. Here at least they're all looking in the same direction, no one is sucking their thumb, Maddie's not purposefully crossing her eyes and Charlie's not pretending to be a dog.

I've just been handed a very important message.

I would like these things for Christmas. By Makenna.

Top, I really want stuff:

• Webkins or Little kinz (Camal, horse, Google, Seal, Mouse, Humming Bird, Elephant, or Any Webkinz beside: Tiger, Cheeky, Monkey, Collie, Snowman, Chickadee, Parakeet, Husky)
• Bakugon
• Paper
• 26 dollars

Middle, I want stuff:

• Notebook (no picture on the front)
• Yarn
• Gift card
• Bib Overalls
• Jeans
• Legos
• Wooden Tinker Toys

Bottom, OK Stuff:

• Baby doll clothes
• Baby doll

Doubts: Parenting or otherwise.

Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:1-5

In our imperfection we doubt. Are we doing the right thing in our jobs, for our spouses, and for our children. Have we made the right choice in our relationships with extended family or neighbors. Is our discipline effective, have we made the right impression on our children? The list never ends.

I can tell you one thing you don't have to doubt. Your children are a blessing! They are a gift from God. You don't have to doubt the impact that you have on this world if you have them. They are your impact. A multi-generational one. Think that through. Your children will have spouses of their own one day. And their own children. Who will then produce your great grand children and so forth. They are our faith bearers to the next generation. What a responsibility. What a privilege. There is no job or task more important than this one that has been laid before you.

Our culture begs us to plan in great detail our child's path to college. We dream about their future success. What is your dream for your children? Medicine? Law? Athletics? We're expected to begin planning and saving for college even while this child is still in the womb. Every day we monitor their homework and fuss over their grades. We'll bend over backwards to make sure they get this opportunity or have that experience. They'll need these things to look good on college applications. They'll need to be strong in this or that other thing to get scholarships. They'll need to know this person or work that internship if they want to have influence and power.

Now, in all that planning, what are we doing to mentor our children to be a good spouse? How are we training them in our faith so that they can pass that along to their children when they are a parent? We need to encourage each other, in between all those good intentions, to be as deliberate about training them to be spouses and parents as we are about all those other things.

We must talk to them about unconditional love. The kind that moves you beyond the reach of cupid's arrow and starts with a decision, a daily choice to love no matter what and for always. The Bible tells us that as mothers we are to "train the younger women to love their husbands and children" (Titus 2). Train them to love. You and I know that it doesn't always come naturally. Love is a choice. Love is action that benefits others before ourselves.

We must train our children to discern good character and to not only seek it out, but to instill it in our own children as well. We must teach them what qualities make a God-honoring spouse so that they might be one and so that they might choose one. What does the Bible have to say about being a man, being a women? Do your know what the Bible says about being a husband, being a wife? It is not silent on the matter and in most cases it is contrary to what our culture accepts and what it glorifies. We must be deliberate. We must be diligent.

"Love: An act of the will, accompiand by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object."

The Fiefighters' Thanksgiving by Maribeth Boelts

Charlie's current favorite book. I've read it about a million times today.

Halloween Pics

The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf.

Birthday Girl. Can't she just stay 6 forever?

Never turn your back, not even for a second.

If a little cinnamon is good on your applesauce, a lot must be better!

Happy Birthday, Charlie.

(Can't they leave the poor boy alone for 30 seconds?)

Charlie and Libby

"What she said."