one secret to peace for large (or not-so-large) families

((So, those of you with large families can stop giggling cause I just called our modest family of six "large" but if you don't already know this trick, you'll thank me--after the laughter subsides.))

I wish I could say I thought of this one myself. But I did not. This is one of the other tips I learned from my perusal of the Thomas Jefferson Education books by Oliver DeMille. It's called "the kid of the day." (You can read about the "You, not them" principle here.)

You know all those little tiffs and whines when it's time to run an errand and everyone wants to go with you. How do you choose? Or, who gets to pick what to listen to in the car, or who gets to sit in the front seat, or who gets to help mom make dinner, or who gets the first piece of cake, or who gets to hold the flashlight for dad, or who gets to go pick up the pizza and eat a free ice cream cone in the lobby while waiting for the order (seriously, this really happens, folks). Or... or... or... it never ends.

Well, unless you have a "kid of the day." 

We established a rotation and I write the child's name on the calendar so it is clearly established and there is no confusion. Who's the kid of the day? Well it must be because the calendar says so. It takes mom and dad choosing one child over the other out of the equation. So where there is a choice to be made the fussing and hurt feelings are gone for good. "Who's the kid of the day?" is the question of the moment. They know that it is not their turn today, but it will be some other day and who knows what cool thing will come up on their day. They are content to go on their way and be patient for their turn.

This also ensures that mom or dad is getting one-on-one time with each child in some type of reliable rotation. They love this because they get mom/dad's ear exclusively to themselves to say whatever they need to say. And we can give our undivided attention to that child.

We also take this opportunity to pray specifically for that child during our family Bible study at breakfast, thanking God for the blessing that they are, praying for their future spouse, and begging the heart of God to draw them to Himself.

In the past, I have had the "kid of the day" be my helper when it's time to clean up after dinner. It becomes a good training opportunity as I can focus teaching that one child the skills for the job. This is done in a fun and light-hearted way. And because of this, my older girls can clean up a kitchen single-handedly when needed. What a blessing that can be!

When it comes to running errands, the kid of the day could lose the privilege for any number of reasons: their chores aren't done, they didn't finish their studies, or they didn't get dressed that morning (yes, this happens too). In our house the privilege does not trickle down to the next kid--we found to do so can be the source of hurt feelings and resentment.

So have fun chuckling if you really have a big family and you're thinking, "Well, duh." Or have fun with your "kid of the day" and marvel at what a blessing they are!