on motherhood

As you may know, mom passed away on July 14 at 7:50am. She was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer late March and on April 13th told she had 3-6 months to live at her first oncologist appointment. At the time I commented that it was difficult for me to imagine mom going from mom, healthy and active as ever at 71, to being sick enough to lose her in that amount of time. I still can't imagine it and I was there. At one point she called this whole process her journey home. She said that she was ok with where she was going it was getting there that was the problem. I am okay with where she is but not ok with her being away from me. I don't even know if that makes sense but that is where I am. I am continually amazed at how God used the situation to bring glory to Himself in the tiniest little detail and how He answers prayers. He cares for us and loves us and I hope I never forget all the precious ways He showed me that over the last few months and all the incredible things He showed me about my mom, who she was and how He uses moms to make us who He wants us to be. Even in our darkest moments He is shaping us and using us to shape others. I see a small glimpse into how He used mom to bring me up in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" from the day she had me until this very moment. She is my mom still.