I write to you all here not as an authority or an expert. Not with an attitude of pride. Not as an "award-winning" blog with a world-wide readership. But with humility and love to anyone who will read and even come back to read some more. I write mostly for myself and as a chronicle of our family events, but I've become emboldened with each post and have ventured out to tell you more and more of what is in my heart, what I'm struggling with, what our thinking is behind the things that we do. I told myself from the beginning that I wouldn't get that personal. You see, here you are reading my personal thoughts but I don't get the same in return. I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that and how much longer I'll keep at it. Tomorrow I may go back to just posting cute pictures of the kids, their silly poems, and crazy artwork.
And yet, here I am, writing to you again.
I've always been a girl who seeks to go against the grain in her small, quiet way. Even in elementary school when mom gave me those super cute hair cuts that were different than how everyone was currently wearing their hair. Today I still make choices that go against the grain of what everyone else is doing. I was always pleased as punch with mom's new hair cuts. And today I'm filled with joy over where God is leading us and where we are. But still, just like in elementary school, when I go out it is with a small voice of trepidation that the "new style" won't be accepted. I hear it too when I click the "Publish Post" button on the screen. You see I have the desire to be bold, but not the strength of character to go with it. I still care what others think of me.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this (which is one reason why blogging can be bad: it's too easy to post things that are "half-baked" and really not fit for others to read, of which I've been guilty more often than not). Except maybe to tell you that I love you all deeply and think of you often.
So while I'm not publishing an award winner here, I'm ok with that.
I want nothing more than for you all to see the imprint of Christ on our ordinary life, despite our failures and our shortcomings, and even in the out-of-the-ordinary choices that we make.
Thank you for keeping up with us here. Thank you for being a part of our lives. Thank you all for loving us just the way we are. It is my hope that I'm able to return to you in some small way the kindnesses you have shown to us.
Merry Christmas!
2 comments:
Please don't doubt your courage or fortitude. You say things that many people may not hear elsewhere. While they may be uncomfortable with what you say, you are planting a seed.
PLUS...if you stop blogging, you'll have to email all of us individually!
I love heartfelt personal posts, whether they are half baked or well thought thru. I love 'real' people, the good, the bad and the ugly. There is a lot to be gained from open hearted people like yourself. Don't let the sound of crickets discourage you. I don't think many people know what to say on most posts, especially the more serious they are. At least that has been my experience. That doesn't mean that people don't like them or aren't gaining something from it. You have readers coming back and if they weren't interested they wouldn't come back. So keep it coming. You have a way with words.
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